Unfathomable Sadness

I am shocked. I am horrified. But most of all, I am sad.

What happened in that Connecticut elementary school is beyond comprehension. As a parent, my heart aches for those families that lost their precious children. As a parent, I am angered that a cowardly young man took those precious lives away. And as others before him, he too took his own life. Why must these suicidal cowards decide they need to take innocent lives with them? How could one possibly inflict such horror on children?

But right now, this is not about those questions. Right now, I can only think about my children. I can only think about those parents who will not put their children to bed tonight. I think about the everyday life with my children that I often take for granted. I remember the mornings that Averey frustrates me as she's getting ready for school, and we snip at each other. I groan when she asks for a glass of orange juice, just as I sit down with my breakfast.

Was there some mother who had a morning such as this and sent her daughter off to school, never to return?

As Christmas is approaching, I'm not quite done with my shopping. I cringe at the thought of having more toys around the house. I constantly tell my girls to clean up their room, as the clutter is making me crazy.

I'm sure there are parents who weren't done with their shopping either, who grimaced at the thought of more toys. But now, the shrieks of their children opening gifts have been silenced.

My mind is racing with so many thoughts and questions. Right now, I can only pray for God's peace to be upon those families, their school, and their community. I pray that the murderer is not sensationalized like others before him. I pray that we learn about those children and teachers, we see their faces, and their all-too-brief lives are celebrated. I pray that their friends and families do not live in fear, but bring a positive light to this horrific tragedy.

For those of us on the outside, united only by the fact that we are parents, I pray that we all cherish our children, that we mellow out over those little things that drive us crazy, and most of all, that we let them know they are loved.

I know I'm ready for some tighter squeezes and sloppy kisses.