Sunday, June 3, 2012

Reflecting on Those High School Years...


Jake and I mark a small milestone this year: we’ve been out of high school for 15 years. Seriously? I can remember when my mom was out of high school for 15 years. It was 1988, and she got a booklet in the mail that listed all of her classmates and what they’d been up to since 1973. I was fascinated by this and would delve into her yearbook and match up the people with their pictures. I had nine years before I would graduate high school, and it seemed so far away. Over the years, I would look at my mom’s yearbooks again and have a good chuckle at her pictures, and the clothing and hairstyles. She warned me that I too would laugh at my yearbooks someday. Fifteen years later, I still don’t think I look quite as ridiculous as my mom, even if I was totally rocking the Jennifer Aniston ‘do in my senior pictures...

I look back on high school with some fond memories. Jake, on the other hand, was glad to leave. I graduated in a class of 170 people; Jake graduated with over 400. I didn’t know every single person in my class, but I at least knew their names. I don’t even know how you could begin to find your place in a class that large. Other than the fact that Jake was tall (people mistake him for being a football player all the time) and teachers knew his brother (which occasionally was a strike against him), he skated through State College High School under the radar (which is something he didn’t seem to mind). When we talk about our high school days, the only regret he seems to have is that he didn’t work to his full potential. Maybe.

I can’t say I have numerous regrets about high school. When I take the time to read old journal entries, I sometimes cringe at things I said or did and can’t believe how stupid I could be. But I guess that’s all part of growing up and maturing. Other than the choice of some of my classes during my senior year (I so wish I would’ve taken more art classes than the unnecessary Advanced Chem and Pre-Cal, which just made me feel dumb), knowing I could have done better in some classes, and perhaps more involved in activities, I’m pretty satisfied with my high school career. And really, 15 years later, how much of it even matters anymore?

I had a good group of friends over the years, and I wasn’t much for teenage rebellion since I didn’t want any privileges taken away. I was (and still am) a horrible liar. I never could’ve pulled off lying to my parents… oh, I’m sure there’s a couple things I got away with, but I didn’t sneak out, the parties I attended were sans alcohol, and I paid enough attention in health class that I feared ever trying any illegal substance. (And still do to this day.) I focused my dramatics on boys. I was never quite happy with my appearance since I wore glasses through 8th grade (and glasses from the late '80s and early '90s were anything but cool), and even contact lenses didn’t make me feel any less of an ugly duckling. I was never without makeup, and even when my friends were kind enough to tell me my lipstick was waaaay too bright, I perceived that as an insult to my appearance. It didn’t help that my complexion was anything but clear and had the tetracycline/Retin-A combo to treat my acne. Thankfully, I didn’t have the super-visible-not-able-to-cover-up-with-makeup-acne, but a lot of it was my own fault since I liked (and still have this terrible habit) to pick. The bright side to my (still) oily face is that my mom constantly reminds me that I won’t have wrinkles when I get older since I was lucky (?) enough to inherit her oily genes. Not what you want to hear at 16 though. Nor did I enjoy hearing friends say, “Oh my gosh, I have A zit!” I’m like, “Okay, let me show you all of mine. I can play connect-the-dots!”

Being a high-schooler in the mid-‘90s was pretty carefree. Not that I can speak for everyone. I was fortunate enough to have a decent home life, and in spite of getting doses of real life through seventeen magazine (no cable at my house), I lived in my own little world. I didn’t give much thought about college, and after a sampling of dorm life at Penn State during 4-H State Days, I was a little uneasy about attending college. I knew it was what I was supposed to do after high school, but I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. (Oh wait, I still don’t!)

I am very nostalgic about the ‘90s. The movies I watched repeatedly (Clueless, Dumb & Dumber), the music I overplayed (Live, Alanis Morissette), the TV shows I obsessed over (Friends, hence the haircut)… I’m sure my kids will make fun of me someday for all of that stuff, and not to mention some of my clothes (I’m making fun of me too for some of those outfit choices—yikers!), but those things will always remind me of my teenage life, which in all honesty, was pretty darn easy compared to some of the stuff I’ve dealt with as an adult.

But were they the best years of my life? As I'm a working mom and a wife and just trying to keep up with housework, bills and remembering all the things that need to get done for the day... not even close. I am blessed to be at this point, something that was so difficult to imagine 15 years ago.

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