I thought at one point in my life I had a plan. I never gave
too much thought to my career, hence the school I went to, the worthless
degree, and the fact that I ended up as a pharmacy technician. I really just
wanted to be married with children. Being a single mom at 27 and starting out
in a new relationship (with someone from my past nonetheless) was the last plan
I ever imagined for myself. I must say though, it truly was an incredible plan
(on God’s behalf).
After our first date as adults, Jake and I soon starting
seeing each other on a weekend basis. He travelled to Harrisburg a lot to see
Averey and me at first, but within a couple months, Averey and I made the trip
up to State College. I met his parents when we dated back in ’98, but I was a
bit nervous to meet them again with a baby in tow. While I didn’t give much
thought to what people thought of me being a single mom (since most everyone
knew that it was not by choice) but I was still ever so slightly concerned
about what they would think of me. They were kind enough to offer to watch
Averey so Jake and I could go out to dinner, so I pretty much knew I had
nothing to worry about.
Jake and I knew that we wanted to be together, and this
time, the distance did not matter (and it helped that Averey was so portable!).
He asked me to go on a cruise with him and a group of friends the following
May, so hearing that in October pretty much sealed the deal that we were a couple!
I couldn’t believe that we were together, and that those feelings we had as
teenagers was really what Jake once described as a “connection” between the two
of us. A couple months into 2007, we had the big discussion: what about Averey?
Jake was fortunate enough to be in our lives and have no worries about my ex
resurfacing. There was definitely a connection between Jake and Averey; in
fact, she took her first steps towards him! I wasn’t sure what to expect, but
he surprised me by saying that when we would get married, he would want to
adopt Averey. I never even had to ask, and I thank God for that!
It didn’t take long for us to realize that one of us would
have to relocate for the relationship to thrive. It didn’t take long for me to
realize that it would be me. Jake
grew up in State College, he’d been working at Penn State since he was 18, and
his family was there. While I adored Harrisburg, my friends, and my job, there
weren’t any deep roots to keep me there, nor were there any for Jake to plant.
I just had no idea how I was going to find a pharmacy technician job in State
College and make as much as I did in Harrisburg so that I could still take care
of Averey and myself. I had been blessed with that aspect of being a single
mom: I never felt that I struggled financially. Looking back, it’s quite
amazing that I didn’t, but God provided. And where would I live? Would I find
great in-home baby-sitters for Averey like I had in Harrisburg?
These were all questions no one could answer for me; there
was just a lot of prayer involved. Before I knew it, Jake’s friends told him
there was a help wanted sign at a pharmacy within a Geisinger clinic. I called
the number, and they actually wanted help in the store across town. The
technician position involved mixing chemo, and one of my favorite aspects of
being a hospital tech was mixing IVs. Before we left for our cruise in May, I
had a brief interview at the site. Within a month, the job was offered to me,
and amazingly, I only had to take a 50 cent pay cut! That was the one thing I
needed before I could move to State College, and I got it. A place to live fell
into… well, place. Jake’s friends had a basement apartment available to rent
after July. It was a lot smaller than my Harrisburg apartment, but quieter.
Trying to find a cheap place to rent in State College was proving to be
difficult, and so this was the best option available to us. I also found a
baby-sitter for Averey.
One year from our first (second) date, in August 2007,
Averey and I moved to State College. It was bittersweet, but it was a new
start, and I was excited. Little did I know that when Jake and my dad took the
moving truck back, Jake was asking my dad for my hand in marriage.
In October, Averey was going to fly to S. Carolina with my
mom to visit my aunt. Jake and I decided to take a little road trip. I chose
Niagara Falls as our destination. We spent the day walking around, enjoying the
sights and each other’s company. Now this is where Jake’s version of the story
and mine differ. My version is that Jake seemed to be in a slightly blah mood
as the day wore on because he had a headache. His version is that I seemed like
I was in a poopy mood because I was expecting a proposal, which I was NOT.
Okay, so maybe a small part of me thought that could happen, but I wasn’t
getting my hopes up. Either way, by the time evening rolled around, we were
both tired. We headed back to the hotel. I plopped myself on the bed while he
went to the bathroom. He soon plopped himself by me, told me to close my eyes,
and upon opening them, saw THE RING, and he popped the question. When we say
that we got engaged at Niagara Falls, people tend to think BY the falls. Not
quite, but still memorable. I admired my ring the entire drive home.
Planning our wedding was a lot of fun, and we did it in 6
months! We joked that we should get married at Camp Brule, but it would be
quite a hike for all of our guests. When we visited the Lodge at Tussey
Mountain (coincidentally, where we had our very first State College date), we
liked the rustic appeal and being able to have the ceremony (outside) and
reception all in one place. It was close enough to getting married at 4-H Camp!
On April 26, 2008, nearly 14 years after we first met, we tied
the knot. It was a beautiful day in spite of the forecast calling for 80%
chance of rain. The sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, and blowing so
much that we couldn’t get our unity candle lit. Averey was 2 years old. She was
our adorable little flower girl, and my escort down the aisle. I met my dad at
his seat, and he gave me away to Jake. Our ceremony was simple, and the kiss…
well, that was a good one!
Jake does not enjoy being photographed (even I think he’s
quite photogenic), but he was a good sport for the day. We had fun getting
shots in the spring sunshine, until a huge thunderhead loomed over Beaver
Stadium. Fortunately by then, we were pretty much done. We headed inside to
have dinner, and then the storm unleashed its fury. We ended up with the
warmest day that April (81 degrees) and the rainiest (1+ inches). The food was
fantastic, and our reception was enjoyable. Jake is not much of a dancer
either, but I got him on the floor for a couple minutes of fast dancing. The
only dance that really mattered was our first dance. We had a couple songs in
mind, but we ended up choosing “When You Say Nothing at All” by Alison Krauss.
It was popular during the summer of 1995 when we liked each other, and I had
confessed to my journal that was one of the songs that made me think of him. We also had our little inside joke displayed among our cupcakes. We discovered back then that Gummo and Polk could be Gumby and Pokey, so our cake "toppers" (so to speak) were Gumby and Pokey figurines.
Our reception flew by, and then, well… the wedding night. We
stayed in a hotel while my family stayed in our new house. We opened our gifts
and cards Sunday afternoon, and headed to our honeymoon in the Bahamas on
Monday morning. It was our moment of relaxation from the whirlwind that had
taken place, and would continue to take place in 2008. We bought our house at
the end of March, got married in April, Jake officially adopted Averey in
August, and I got pregnant in September. Phew!
So here we are, 4 years later. We’ve had our ups and downs (which
really goes without saying), and while I love looking back on our wedding day,
I love how far we’ve come from that day even more. We may have had an
unconventional beginning, a gap of non-communication, and started our marriage with a child, but it just makes me
appreciate everything we have so much more. I am grateful to God that He
blessed us with a second chance, and that His plan is bigger than any plan I’ve
ever thought out for my life. Yes, I get to be a mom and wife, but getting to
this point the way I did was never what I would’ve chosen for my life. But
going through all the hardships I went through to get to Jake and the life we
have now was more than worth it.
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