Apparently, when you have children, they need to eat.
Let me rephrase that. They need to eat you out of house and home. After all, they're not paying for the groceries, and the food is just there, so they must do their job and eat it. Then you have to go to the grocery store for the fifth time this week, and the vicious cycle starts all over again.
Mostly, the ravishing appetites come from the snack monster: "Can I have a snack?" (asked by Kelsey just this morning, five minutes after breakfast), "Is it time for a bedtime snack?" or the ever-irritating, "I'm hunnngrrryyy!" When these questions are met with a "No, you just had breakfast/lunch/dinner; it's too close to breakfast/lunch/dinner; it's too late," then the whining ensues as if you've purposely withheld food from them all day and they will absolutely keel over at that moment if they can't have a graham cracker/pretzels/piece of candy (which never qualifies as a fulfilling snack, yet they assure me that will be enough to get them through. Ha.).
I know when I was younger, my family coined me as "Heather Hungry". I was a bottomless pit of sorts, a skin and bones, ribs-peeking-through kind of bottomless pit. I'm not sure how my parents managed to keep me fed and satisfied, and I know it got worse in high school. I can remember coming home from school, devouring an apple, a plate of Triscuits with melted cheese, string cheese and a granola bar. I fear for the teenage years in this house, not because I have all girls, but because they will all need to eat. A lot.
I try to make sure they eat their fruits and veggies, so once a grocery trip is made, I'm chock full of fresh fruits and carrot sticks, and so when they are hunnngrrryyy, I can offer those healthy choices. I can feel like a pretty decent mom. And as blueberries are nature's laxative, I can feel pretty spectacular that everyone is regular. After all, consistent pooping makes the mom's world go 'round.
But then you get to days like today. I've just come off working three evenings in a row. The bananas Jake picked up at Walmart two days ago are just a distant memory. Grocery shopping won't happen until later this evening. In search of a fruit to have with lunch, I had a flash of memory: dark chocolate yogurt-covered raisins. Desperate times call for desperate measures, right?
Only in this house will you hear "Finish your peanut butter and fluff sandwich or you won't get any dark chocolate yogurt-covered raisins!"
Yup. That's how we roll. Just keeping it real.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Countless Ways to Tell the Story...
I don't want to begin this by tritely saying, "It's hard to believe it's been 18 years..."
But it's the plain and simple truth.
From that first moment that I learned about the crash of TWA Flight 800 and the impact it had on my home community of Montoursville, PA, and until this very day, it still seems so surreal. It still seems like yesterday. And yes, it's hard to believe 18 years have passed since that fateful Wednesday evening of July 17, 1996.
In 18 years, I can tell the story a new way every time. Whether it's relaying it verbally or written, random memories can spark at different times, and it can change the way I tell it. It can be about the friends I lost, or what the summer was like prior to that night, or what the school year was like afterwards, or what life has been like in the past 18 years since the tragedy.
Once again, it's a new story this year. Lately, as I've reflected on Flight 800, it's the little details that have surfaced and have once again reminded me how huge an ordeal it really was. To this day, the shock can still hit that I lived through such a terrible event as a teenager, and so much comes flooding back...
It's in the memory of the enormous headline of our local newspaper on July 18 that screamed, "AGONY IN MONTOURSVILLE".
It's the card on one of the many bouquets displayed in our high school lobby that read, "I don't know you, nor do you don't know me. All I can say is, I love you."
It's the young girl who wrote a letter and donated her baby-sitting money to our memorial fund rather than spending it on herself.
It's the drum head signed by Aerosmith that was on display during the school year. (I thought that was pretty cool.)
It's the endless bouquets of flowers, teddy bears and angels that were sent to our school.
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It's the letters from families and friends of those affected by the Oklahoma City bombing reaching out to share in our sorrow.
It's the roll of paper hanging throughout the hallway of the lobby where we could write messages to our loved ones. (I used this opportunity to pen yearbook messages that I would not be writing in my friends' books that year.)
It's the night of July 18 when a couple thousand of us gathered in our high school gymnasium while local clergy spoke and tried to give us some peace. The sadness of that night is still palpable to me.
It's the "God's Little Instruction Book for Graduates" that Monica (Weaver)'s parents gave to me for graduation, and the very first quote in the book read: "When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries, and you rejoice." (Anonymous)
It's the days, months and years that have passed, and how people have still remembered Flight 800 when I say I'm from Montoursville.
It's the one-month memorial service when (the former) NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani came and spoke to us, stating, "For the people of New York City, to understand your encounter in some small way, it would be as if in one single time, in one single moment, in one single tragedy, in New York City thirty-five thousand people would need be affected. Every single person, all of us would feel the tragedy. And that's exactly what has happened here in Montoursville." (This haunted me on the morning of 9/11.)
It's the flashes of my own face, friends and classmates that I saw on national news and how it felt like we were all living in a nightmare.
It's the blue and gold ribbons on everyone's shirts, mailboxes, front doors, flag poles, everywhere. The flags flying at half-mast all over the state of Pennsylvania. It's the "Forever in our Hearts" stickers and buttons that now have taken on a new life as many of our facebook profile photos this time of year.
It's the signs of remembrance in windows of every business in Montoursville, and also many in the outlying communities. (There was no school rivalry at that time!)
.jpg)
It's the endless tears, hugs, phone conversations, seeing our friends' parents so broken-hearted, yet reaching out to comfort us, the funerals and memorial services too numerous to bear...
While I'd not want to relive the days after the tragedy, there was something so beautiful in all of our grief, in all these memories that still stir up emotion, and it's what I remember the most...
The love.
But it's the plain and simple truth.
From that first moment that I learned about the crash of TWA Flight 800 and the impact it had on my home community of Montoursville, PA, and until this very day, it still seems so surreal. It still seems like yesterday. And yes, it's hard to believe 18 years have passed since that fateful Wednesday evening of July 17, 1996.
In 18 years, I can tell the story a new way every time. Whether it's relaying it verbally or written, random memories can spark at different times, and it can change the way I tell it. It can be about the friends I lost, or what the summer was like prior to that night, or what the school year was like afterwards, or what life has been like in the past 18 years since the tragedy.
Once again, it's a new story this year. Lately, as I've reflected on Flight 800, it's the little details that have surfaced and have once again reminded me how huge an ordeal it really was. To this day, the shock can still hit that I lived through such a terrible event as a teenager, and so much comes flooding back...
It's in the memory of the enormous headline of our local newspaper on July 18 that screamed, "AGONY IN MONTOURSVILLE".
It's the card on one of the many bouquets displayed in our high school lobby that read, "I don't know you, nor do you don't know me. All I can say is, I love you."
It's the young girl who wrote a letter and donated her baby-sitting money to our memorial fund rather than spending it on herself.
It's the drum head signed by Aerosmith that was on display during the school year. (I thought that was pretty cool.)
It's the endless bouquets of flowers, teddy bears and angels that were sent to our school.
It's the letters from families and friends of those affected by the Oklahoma City bombing reaching out to share in our sorrow.
It's the roll of paper hanging throughout the hallway of the lobby where we could write messages to our loved ones. (I used this opportunity to pen yearbook messages that I would not be writing in my friends' books that year.)
It's the night of July 18 when a couple thousand of us gathered in our high school gymnasium while local clergy spoke and tried to give us some peace. The sadness of that night is still palpable to me.
It's the "God's Little Instruction Book for Graduates" that Monica (Weaver)'s parents gave to me for graduation, and the very first quote in the book read: "When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries, and you rejoice." (Anonymous)
It's the days, months and years that have passed, and how people have still remembered Flight 800 when I say I'm from Montoursville.
It's the one-month memorial service when (the former) NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani came and spoke to us, stating, "For the people of New York City, to understand your encounter in some small way, it would be as if in one single time, in one single moment, in one single tragedy, in New York City thirty-five thousand people would need be affected. Every single person, all of us would feel the tragedy. And that's exactly what has happened here in Montoursville." (This haunted me on the morning of 9/11.)
It's the flashes of my own face, friends and classmates that I saw on national news and how it felt like we were all living in a nightmare.
It's the blue and gold ribbons on everyone's shirts, mailboxes, front doors, flag poles, everywhere. The flags flying at half-mast all over the state of Pennsylvania. It's the "Forever in our Hearts" stickers and buttons that now have taken on a new life as many of our facebook profile photos this time of year.
It's the signs of remembrance in windows of every business in Montoursville, and also many in the outlying communities. (There was no school rivalry at that time!)
It's the endless tears, hugs, phone conversations, seeing our friends' parents so broken-hearted, yet reaching out to comfort us, the funerals and memorial services too numerous to bear...
While I'd not want to relive the days after the tragedy, there was something so beautiful in all of our grief, in all these memories that still stir up emotion, and it's what I remember the most...
The love.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
"I don't know how you do it all!"
This is a quote, coming from the mouths of many friends, family and acquaintances during the past year since I have ventured back to school. I'll admit, sometimes I can take it as a compliment that I can give the outward appearance that I can do it all. However, I know the truth, and I must quickly dispel the myth that I am supermom (hence the name of this blog!) and retort with, "I can assure you that I don't do it all WELL."
Yes, we made the decision for me to go back to school to pursue pharmacy school prerequisites. Yes, we knew it wouldn't be easy. But now that I'm a year into it, my only regret is that I didn't start sooner! It's something I thought about over the years but was either scared off by the classes I'd have to take or just by thinking "it's too late for me!" Now that I'm on the other side, I can see that Calculus wasn't nearly as frightening as I expected. Trying to add that to three kids and a husband and a part-time job though, and it's a trial and error situation.
What I've learned in the past year (aside from the academics) is that I don't have the best method figured out how to do all of this, and I kind of suck at time management. (I'm pretty sure Jake can vouch for that fact.) I've managed to make it to work and class on time, but as far as anything else goes, well, any hints would be great! I know I'm not the first mom of three kids to go back to school, but like raising children, there's no manual for this. Some days the kids watch waaaaay more TV so I can get homework done, and other days, I have Jacey pawing at my legs wanting "uppie!" Some days I can manage to keep a neat home, feed the kids and ace a test, and other days, well, I'm a hot mess. Jake has seen my tears (I had no clue that homework could turn on the water works for me), but through it all, he's my number one supporter. "You've got this," he says, even when I don't. And when I am upset about a C on a test, he reminds me, "You passed, right?"
Adding a job to this mix doesn't make it any easier. At this point though, I am more part-time than I've ever been, so I'm home more than I've ever been, and once I received my first tuition reimbursement check, it made it all worth it.
I won't lie and say it can't get lonely at times. Sure, I've connected with some of my classmates (which reminds me how I old I am; most of them were barely in preschool by the time I graduated high school!), and I've had some great professors who've been understanding to my life situation (telling them you have three kids and a job lets them know you're not fooling around and you will actually have legit reasons should you ever miss a class or test), but doing this sets me apart from my friends. There are times when I'm invited somewhere and can't go because of work or school, but there are also times that I'm home and I'll find out about something I didn't get invited to do. Or I've heard, "I forget that you're home more!" Let me say that it's always better to invite than assume. Sometimes I just need a social break!
Along with Jake, I have had an incredible support system. My parents, my in-laws, friends who've had Kelsey over to play while Jacey naps so I can study, those who have helped me study, and those who've prayed for my sanity... all you have done for us has been a huge blessing!
Through it all, I'm ready to continue tackling these pre-reqs. I have a timeline of what courses to complete when and when I want to apply to pharmacy school. However, I'm a realist. I have a husband, three kids and an older home that still needs some TLC. I know that I may not get there when I want, but it will be so worth it when I get there.
Yes, we made the decision for me to go back to school to pursue pharmacy school prerequisites. Yes, we knew it wouldn't be easy. But now that I'm a year into it, my only regret is that I didn't start sooner! It's something I thought about over the years but was either scared off by the classes I'd have to take or just by thinking "it's too late for me!" Now that I'm on the other side, I can see that Calculus wasn't nearly as frightening as I expected. Trying to add that to three kids and a husband and a part-time job though, and it's a trial and error situation.
What I've learned in the past year (aside from the academics) is that I don't have the best method figured out how to do all of this, and I kind of suck at time management. (I'm pretty sure Jake can vouch for that fact.) I've managed to make it to work and class on time, but as far as anything else goes, well, any hints would be great! I know I'm not the first mom of three kids to go back to school, but like raising children, there's no manual for this. Some days the kids watch waaaaay more TV so I can get homework done, and other days, I have Jacey pawing at my legs wanting "uppie!" Some days I can manage to keep a neat home, feed the kids and ace a test, and other days, well, I'm a hot mess. Jake has seen my tears (I had no clue that homework could turn on the water works for me), but through it all, he's my number one supporter. "You've got this," he says, even when I don't. And when I am upset about a C on a test, he reminds me, "You passed, right?"
Adding a job to this mix doesn't make it any easier. At this point though, I am more part-time than I've ever been, so I'm home more than I've ever been, and once I received my first tuition reimbursement check, it made it all worth it.
I won't lie and say it can't get lonely at times. Sure, I've connected with some of my classmates (which reminds me how I old I am; most of them were barely in preschool by the time I graduated high school!), and I've had some great professors who've been understanding to my life situation (telling them you have three kids and a job lets them know you're not fooling around and you will actually have legit reasons should you ever miss a class or test), but doing this sets me apart from my friends. There are times when I'm invited somewhere and can't go because of work or school, but there are also times that I'm home and I'll find out about something I didn't get invited to do. Or I've heard, "I forget that you're home more!" Let me say that it's always better to invite than assume. Sometimes I just need a social break!
Along with Jake, I have had an incredible support system. My parents, my in-laws, friends who've had Kelsey over to play while Jacey naps so I can study, those who have helped me study, and those who've prayed for my sanity... all you have done for us has been a huge blessing!
Through it all, I'm ready to continue tackling these pre-reqs. I have a timeline of what courses to complete when and when I want to apply to pharmacy school. However, I'm a realist. I have a husband, three kids and an older home that still needs some TLC. I know that I may not get there when I want, but it will be so worth it when I get there.
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