Lessons in Motherhood

On my anniversary, I talked about what I learned in five years of marriage. In honor of this Mother's Day, I figured it would be fitting to share what I've learned/experienced in seven years of being a mother...

It's always hard to hear your children cry in pain. But when that pain is caused by a paper cut, you find yourself telling your eldest to "suck it up and quit crying." (Funnily enough, you were as much of a wuss when you were seven, but now that you've birthed three children, a paper cut seems pretty darn insignificant.)

You swore you'd NEVER talk loudly (some people call it yelling) to your children in any store when they misbehave/whine/cry... that is, until your precious three-year-old has forgotten what the word "STOP" means.

You never realized how much you'd celebrate poop. Your life suddenly revolves around poop, how frequently or infrequently it happens, how big/small it is, and you will divulge these details with your spouse (or other moms who will also have pooping stories to share) as if it were 5:00 newsworthy information.

And while I'm discussing bodily functions... you've always had somewhat of a phobia about vomit. So when your oldest pukes in her sleep (which you did at age 7 and kicked off this phobia), you can call your own mother and say, "So remember when you found me sleeping in vomit? Well, I got my payback!"

You will try your darndest to keep a straight face when scolding your children for disobedience or some other offense and they can't help themselves from farting/crying ridiculously loud crocodile tears/putting their hands on their hips and being absolutely sassy. (Your middle child will probably save herself from many punishments because she's so stinking FUNNY!)

You get super frustrated trying to teach your oldest to tie her shoes. You get super excited when she figures it out all by herself.

You share pictures of yourself at age seven with your seven-year-old ("Your hair was funny!" "That's what you call a perm."), old school papers and report cards in the hopes she realizes that once upon a time (in a land not so far away), you were a kid too.

You can never sniff a clean baby too much. You will also do the "sniff check" for baby bottoms and find the results not quite as pleasant.

No matter how hard you try, you can never seem to get Monday mornings quite right. You've exploded on more than one occasion, and yet, your children still love you anyway. (Although they seem to yell a lot on Monday mornings too...)

Upon childbirth, your relationship with your own mother completely turns around. Everything comes full circle, and suddenly, you get it. Mom was right... well, at least 95% of the time.

You are incredibly thankful for your own mother, for your mother-in-law, (not forgetting the fathers either) who never seem to be inconvenienced by watching their granddaughters, and that they all live close enough to help out in a pinch. You know others who are not so fortunate.

So here's to all the moms out there. Enjoy your day, and may your child do something that warms your heart... or maybe just makes you laugh.